Interesting article on Platonic relationship... for people who believe such relationship can exists
Is your best friend of the same sex as you are? Would you be uncomfortable with a person of the opposite sex for a friend? Yet there are many people whose best friends are members of the opposite sex. Read on.
Women are best friends with other women, men confer the title of best buddy on other men.
That is the norm. Whenever anyone breaks away from the norm, their intentions are suspect.
In India, especially, platonic friendships are always suspected of being a front for something else. Claims of "we're just good friends" are almost always greeted with quiet sniggers or statements like, "Ha, we know what that means."
The prevalent belief is that it is simply impossible for a man and a woman to be friends, a relationship of intimacy devoid of sexual connotations. Wherever a friendship between two people of the opposite sex is seen, society makes predictions about how the friendship is doomed to fail. The general view is that sooner or later, the relationship will get too intimate for comfort. Hindi films, the framework of popular culture, do nothing to build the case on behalf of platonic friendships. Boys and girls are never shown to share any positive friendships. They are always either pitted against each other or shown to indulge in amorous encounters.
The situation is being paralleled in numerous urban colleges in Indian cities. The social scene is undergoing a change. Boys and girls are getting to know each other, but out of the context of one-on-one relationships. Group dating is in. This enables youngsters to forge strong non-sexual, respectful relationships with one another.
The changing scenario proves that youngsters are capable of forming lasting relationships with members of the opposite sex. Relations between the genders have now begun to rely more and more on respect and friendship and it is now understood that it is possible for a man and a woman to have a friendship, bereft of any sexual implications.
Parents these days are more open to the idea of youngsters of both sexes mixing together. This enables platonic relationships to grow in an environment devoid of guilt. Youngsters do not see any need to hide or lie about how they feel about each other.
Platonic friendships achieve a very real purpose. They help boys to understand and perceive women as real people with real needs and problems, and not sex objects or playthings. Girls also get a chance to see boys as caring persons, not creatures with nothing but sex and exploitation on their minds.
Ironically, it is in an era of increasing promiscuity and loose morals that the need for platonic relationships stands out. A man who shares a healthy friendship with a woman is more likely to have a greater respect for them.
For this to be made possible, parents must be open and trusting. Children should be encouraged to invite friends home. Parents should also make it a point to get acquainted with children's friends.
Of course, there is always the possibility that platonic relationships will evolve into something more. But relationships that begin with friendship as their base are always far more stable. Both partners are more comfortable with each other. There are no pretensions in the relationship.
However, threats to platonic friendships don't come from parents alone. A disapproving spouse could end a platonic friendship just as conclusively. There are very few people who can look on indulgently, or even indifferently, at a spouse's friendship with a person of the opposite sex. Especially if the friend is very attractive or well qualified.
Sadly, more often than not, platonic friendships do not need parents or spouses to cause them to end. They wither away, just as other friendships do.
We need to see a friendship as a friendship, one of the most beautiful and enduring relationships humans can enjoy and cherish. The players concerned are incidental, they could be a woman and a woman, or a man and a woman. We need to understand that the beauty of it remains the same. We need to appreciate that it offers consolation, comfort and companionship to the concerned people. We can do so only if we stop identifying friendship under the narrow constricting straitjackets of a particular sex.